Malta’s First International Experts Seminar on Parental Alienation

On Saturday 17th April 2021, Happy Parenting – Malta (For Happier Children) (HPM4HC) VO/1819 organized the first-ever international seminar on parental alienation in Malta, sponsored by the Ministry for Gozo. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, this seminar had to be transmitted online from the Gozo Innovation Hub and attracted several participants locally and far overseas, including the USA. This happened just a week before the Parental Alienation Awareness Day which is remembered annually around the globe on the 25th of April.

The keynote speakers were Irish Family Therapist Brian O’Sullivan from Parental Alienation Europe, Barrister Brendan Gildea from Irish Bar, and Dr Charlie Azzopardi from the Institute of Family Therapy, IFT-Malta. O’Sullivan spoke about the impact of parental alienation on children who have been alienated by one of their parents without a just cause and how parental alienation should be tackled from a psychological and psychotherapeutic point of view.

Barrister Gildea spoke about parental alienation cases in the family courts of Europe and the European Court of Human Rights. In a panel discussion following this keynote speech, reference was also made to the judgment on parental alienation recently decided by the Strasbourg court against Malta. Dr Azzopardi addressed the local context and how important it is to detect parental alienation from the very early signs in a couple and/or family system.

He accentuated the need for prevention through professional training which he said is to be officialised soon by IFT-Malta. Other international speakers were Philip Marcus, retired Judge of the Jerusalem Court, who spoke about parental alienation as child psychological maltreatment and forensic psychologist Shawn A. Wygant from Michigan USA, who spoke about third party alienation. Dr Willian Bernet, a world-leading expert on parental alienation who followed the seminar from Nashville, TN USA, congratulated HPMHC commended the organisation of the seminar, coming from a very small island, especially “the mixture of longer presentations with brief comments by government officials; the colourful and energetic graphics; the fast-moving pace; the music; the representatives from different countries; etc.

In particular, the presenters explained specific tasks for the near-time future: prevention and early intervention; educational programs in graduate schools; and legal initiatives”. The seminar was addressed by a line-up of Maltese stakeholders including Her Excellency President Emeritus Marie Louise Coleiro Preca on behalf of MaltaCAN, Government Ministers, an Opposition MP, Gozo’s Bishop, volunteers and members from HPMHC who also shared their own experience. 

The seminar can be viewed online via our website: HappyParentingMalta.com or directly via: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRNeR2AUR64&t=933s

Following the above-mentioned seminar, and from our experience at our weekly Parental Alienation Support Group, I wish to voice my opinion that: A case of severe Parental Alienation leads to Parental Annihilation

Not only does it erase contacts between the parent and the children, it also nourishes the seed of hatred sown by the alienating parent in children, enough to make the children seek vendetta against the targeted parent.

Mary Gauci, President | Happy Parenting – Malta (For Happier Children)

In serious cases, Parental Alienation does not only refer to alienation of children caused by a parent. The harm alienation causes in children is irreparable and it is not only a matter of the severance of contacts. So much hatred would have been sown by the alienating parent in the children against the other parent (the victim parent), that some children grow up to be a replica of the alienating parent and eventually feel that they should destroy the victim parent.

During the international conference that our NGO Happy Parenting Malta for Happier Children recently organized, the forensic psychologist Dr Shawn A. Wygant mentioned a case in which a son killed – shot dead – his father after the son had been unjustifiably inflamed by hatred for his father by his mother. The mother did not hand over a gun to her son, but placed this horrible thought in her son’s mind, the thought that the father should cease to exist, that he needs to die. Dr Wygant continued to say that in this case even the therapist was influenced and started to believe the malicious narrative she had created. On his part the therapist validated the situation invented by the mother and so the sessions he held with the children amounted to brainwashing sessions. This is an example of a third party becoming an alienator. He exerted an influence on the children and convinced the son of the mother’s story: that the father was such a bad person he did not deserve to live.

In a support group set up by our NGO, we came across cases where the offspring, on reaching majority, took the victim parent to court, making allegations that turned out to be false. This was the result of the offspring’s memory having been so corrupted and manipulated that fictitious stories appeared to be true.

Therefore it is not enough to reassure the victim parent that the day will come when the children would realize what had truly happened and that they will someday reconcile!

The poison of the persistent lies the alienating parent insidiously tells the children not only damages their brain but also delivers the vendetta against the victim parent.

The corruption and manipulation of the memory would contain some true facts, but these would be mixed with an amount of lies that turn the story upside down.

We have to say that no parent in his or her right mind, or at least one who is well meaning, would go so far as to undertake this strategy in such a subtle way. In Malta we have a saying that says: ‘incitement is madness’.

Cases of parental alienation should be identified as early as possible, as stated by Dr Charles Azzopardi during the seminar mentioned earlier. It would be wise if cases did not end up in court. Such cases would be out of place in a court of law!

In instances of parental alienation, more serious cases of ‘Parental Annihilation’ could emerge. This refers to when the victim parent experiences what is called a ‘Complexity Post Traumatic Stress Disorder’. It happens when the jibes and hurt that are continuously inflicted on the victim parent intensify so much that this parent, whose story is not believed, falls into a serious depression which could make him or her conclude that there is no longer any purpose for living.

In the meantime, during all this turbulence, there is a strong likelihood that the victim parent goes through a difficult time at work. He or she would find it difficult to concentrate and sometimes he or she would even lose their job. Very often the victim parent hires a lawyer to seek protection against lies thrown in his or her direction, but cases are common when the alienating parent employs tactics that make lies seem very convincing, especially when the alienating parent is supported by the already incited children.

This is the reason why the children’s voice should be considered in its full context.

Any comments are welcome at:  Mary.Gauci@HappyParentingMalta.com